Thursday, August 27, 2009
Stay Tuned...
More family news soon. More photographs soon. More stuff, photos, letters and stuff soon. REALLY!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Victorian Love Letter from my Grandmother to my Grandfather
The following is a transcript of a letter written by my Grandmother Mary to my Grandfather Albert just after he had asked for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately her father was not home so the two had to wait on their engagement. A series of letters were exchanged between them while Albert was in Texas (or in route to Texas) and Mary who resided in Mexico City at home with her parents. Mary was 19-20 years old and Albert was 30 years old.
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Mexico, August 19, 1915
Dear Albert:
Your letter of Aug. 16th received today, gave me much pleasure as it proved that you had arrived at Veracruz alright.
Just imagine, that was my first love letter and this is my first answer to one; let us see if I do not make a bungle of things!
Remember senor that I gave you only my fingers as yet, because Papa must be the one to give you my hand. We have heard nothing from poor old Papa yet, just think how sad we feel here again.
Did you meet Mr. Wuerpel in Veracruz? He left here on Tuesday morning.
By the time this reaches you, you will probably be with your family and must feel as if you had reached the Land of Promise overflowing with milk and honey.
This is a very uninteresting letter but I am sure you will pardon the want of experience of little Mary.
Mother sends regards, Maggie and Polly too, but Polly says that distance will not save you from the effects of her.
My classes are getting along very well, it is a pleasure to have some work to do during these long and dreary days. We have been walking round the Alameda after supper the last few nights as mother feels lonely and the exercise makes her sleep well.
At this moment Mother was told by a person who came from Toluca that Father is well and at work. The Acosta family have returned except Adelaida and Joaquin. Adelaida is very delicate, she has malaria, the family found a bare house, the lady is very sad, they may move from indignation at the “calabazas” you gave her.
I must stop now; may good luck attend you and God protect you, is the wish and prayer of
Mary
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Mexico, August 19, 1915
Dear Albert:
Your letter of Aug. 16th received today, gave me much pleasure as it proved that you had arrived at Veracruz alright.
Just imagine, that was my first love letter and this is my first answer to one; let us see if I do not make a bungle of things!
Remember senor that I gave you only my fingers as yet, because Papa must be the one to give you my hand. We have heard nothing from poor old Papa yet, just think how sad we feel here again.
Did you meet Mr. Wuerpel in Veracruz? He left here on Tuesday morning.
By the time this reaches you, you will probably be with your family and must feel as if you had reached the Land of Promise overflowing with milk and honey.
This is a very uninteresting letter but I am sure you will pardon the want of experience of little Mary.
Mother sends regards, Maggie and Polly too, but Polly says that distance will not save you from the effects of her.
My classes are getting along very well, it is a pleasure to have some work to do during these long and dreary days. We have been walking round the Alameda after supper the last few nights as mother feels lonely and the exercise makes her sleep well.
At this moment Mother was told by a person who came from Toluca that Father is well and at work. The Acosta family have returned except Adelaida and Joaquin. Adelaida is very delicate, she has malaria, the family found a bare house, the lady is very sad, they may move from indignation at the “calabazas” you gave her.
I must stop now; may good luck attend you and God protect you, is the wish and prayer of
Mary
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Adventure Of Life and Learning With Fred Zoeller ....and after
From Toni Zoeller, wife of Fred (Fredrick) Zoeller
(Photo 1: Buckley & Fred from before Pearl Harbor attack)
The reason I’ve begun to put all this down on paper is that now, June 23, 2004, well over a year after Fred went home to be with the Lord, I’m beginning to see more and more clearly, the wonderful work of the Lord in bringing us together. Deut. 3:24 "O Lord God, Thou hast begun to show Thy servant Thy greatness, and Thy mighty hand: for what God is there in heaven or in earth, that can do according to Thy works, and according to Thy might?"
Fred and I met on a blind date in 1948, through my friends, Beulah and Honey Foster. I had shared an apartment with them before I moved in with my uncle and aunt, Stuart and Thelma Johnson and cousin, Marian. Beulah was dating Richard, "Wendy" Wendelin who was in the Navy, stationed at the Naval Mine Depot in Yorktown, Va. Wendy lived in the same barracks with Fred; and he brought him to Richmond with him when he came to see Beulah. First he had gone out with a girl named Mary. Then for some reason, he didn’t go out with Mary, and Beulah set Fred and I up with a blind date. We went to the main night club in Richmond that night. That first date didn’t go too well.
Here we have a twenty- three year old young man who had served in the Navy throughout WW2, and had really lived, and "been around." Soon after his return to the U.S. after the war, he took a train from California to his home in Texas. He dozed off to sleep and had nightmares. He awoke flinging both arms out to the sides, hitting the person next to him. He was so embarrassed and afraid it would happen again that he spent the rest of the trip standing between the cars of the train.
Due to the four years he spent in action as a bombardier and aerial gunner in a "Black Cats" Catalina Patrol Squadron in most of the major battles in the Pacific during WW2, he drank entirely too much. It had been said that he was one of the youngest, most decorated, and drunkest Chiefs in the Navy. He had even been drinking while on shore patrol duty in Jacksonville, Fl. The only reason he hadn’t gotten in trouble was that where ever he went, officers and chiefs who knew him from the days of action in the war overlooked it, knowing what he had been through and what a great job he’s done. They had tried to make him a chief earlier, but he refused it, saying he was just too young. He was 21 when he accepted the rank Nov.1, 1944.
On one occasion in Jacksonville, he had been drinking the night before he was to receive the Distinguished Flying Cross for his actions in the South Pacific. When he awoke that morning, he realized he had overslept. He quickly dressed, but when he rounded the corner of the hanger to get it line, he realized it was too late, the awards were already underway, so he just went back to the barracks and went back to sleep. When the Chief master-at-arms later asked him what to tell the Executive officer as to why he wasn’t there, Fred just said, "Tell him I overslept." Nothing was ever said about it. For years, in many of the places he was stationed, officers and men knew and recognized him from the war years.
Years later, after he had become a Christian, when he was visiting a church in Jacksonville, Fla. a Navy man who knew and remembered him made the remark, "I didn’t think anybody like you could get saved."
Fred was from Texas, and wore his cowboy boots even with his uniform! I could hardly believe it that first date as I saw him spinning on those heels as he danced.... giving the old Texas yell, "Ahhhhh Haaaaa!" When he danced with me, he held me very close. When I said something about it, he said, "That’s the way my first girl friend showed me." He thought I was a kid, and he was right. I was only nineteen. Recently, for the first time, I figured it out that I was only 12 years old when Fred was experiencing Pearl Harbor. I thought to myself that first date, "Just let me get home, and I never want to see this guy again!"
However, when we got ready to go home, it appeared to me that everyone at the club liked Fred. They all were calling out to him as we left. I wondered if there might be something wrong with me if I didn’t like him.
The next weekend they came to Richmond, it was Mary he went out with. I learned about it, and where they were all were planning on going. I determined to get a date and be there also. I completely ignored my date, and brazenly followed Fred and his date the whole evening. It apparently made an impression on him, because from that night on we were a couple.
After some time of double dating with Wendy and Beulah, Fred and I began spending more and more time alone at a little beer joint called "Bennie’s" near my aunt’s home. Wendy would drop Fred off and pick him up late that evening and they’d go to their hotel.
I wanted to know all about Fred and was full of questions about everything he had ever done. We’d sit for hours talking and "nursing" a beer or two along.. In letters he wrote several years later when he was in Korea and Japan he wondered at the way I had wanted to know all about his past and was amazed the way he had opened up with me. I believe that the result was that Fred tapered off his heavy drinking, and we drew very close. Toni, the immature kid, and Fred, the very experienced man.
Months went by, sometimes going with Wendy and Beulah to parks in the day, pulling crazy jokes on one another, and spending the evening either with Wendy and Beulah at some club, or alone together at "Bennie’s" I learned over time not to take lightly anything Fred said. Once when I did we had a very difficult time, which letters and a. little time healed for both our good.
One day, he called me at work. He told me that he wouldn’t see me the next weekend because he was going to D.C. with some of the fellows. Now we both knew that "Going to D.C." was like saying, we’re going looking for women. I told him that if that’s what he was going to do, not to call me anymore. "Do you really mean that?" He asked me. I answered that I did. He simply said, "OK." and hung up. I went back to work, but was pondering just what that exchange would mean. It was only a few minutes before I went down stairs to a public phone and called him back. I told him I really didn’t mean it, and to call me when he got back. He was pleased.....and he never did go to D.C.
Among the letters he wrote during his 18 months tour of duty during the Korean war, was one in which I asked him what would have happened I hadn’t called him back. He said he wouldn’t have called me again. And then he added, "but if I had known then what I know now, I would call again."
Fred had a diamond ring which he had bought in the South Pacific when he had won quite a bit of money in a blackjack game while he was on leave. He had given me the ring to wear with tape on it to make it fit. Later, he suggested that I have it set in a woman’s setting....but he instructed me not to put it on! I carried the ring in my purse for weeks. Valentines Day came. I thought surely he’d propose. Instead he brought me a lovely gold cross encircled with a gold wreath.
We had gone with Wendy and Beulah to a dance at Yorktown that Valentine’s day. They had a dance they called the "Paul Jone’s." Men would form a large circle, and the women would form a circle within the men’s circle. When the music changed, you would dance with whoever happened to be opposite you. I had always been careful not to drink too much, but that evening I was so disappointed that he hadn’t proposed that I just threw caution to the winds and "hung one on". All I remember is that in the middle of the Paul Jones," Fred grabbed me by the hand and said, "We’re getting out of here!" Apparently I had somehow managed to dance with many other fellows, but never seemed to get near Fred!
Sometime during 1948-49, he took thirty days leave to go to San Antonio, Texas to see his family and make a trip to Mexico with his Mom to see his relatives there. Up until this time, the word "love" had never been mentioned. I wasn’t letting on how much I cared for him, and he had carefully avoided it in his letters. I figured the thirty days were so long that I’d probably never see him again.
Then a letter came from Texas with the magic word...He signed it, Love, Fred! I didn’t take the word lightly. As I said, I had learned earlier that when Fred said something, he meant it.... he was one of those old fashioned men who believed that "A man is as good as his word." When he returned from Texas, he brought me a beautiful sterling silver turquoise belt which I still treasure. Neither of us realized it, but the belt was like an engagement token.
In May or June,1949, out of the clear blue, he called me and said, "Little Darlin,’ I don’t know what’s the matter with me; I can’t sleep, I wake up reaching for you....I guess I must be in love, will you marry me? All I could say was, "Do you really mean it?" He assured me that he did, and told me to put the ring on.
When Fred was first transferred to the Naval Mine Depot in Yorktown, Va, he wasn’t too pleased with the duty there; so he promptly applied for a school at the Naval Air Station in Millington, Tenn.., not far from Memphis. Then he forgot all about it when we began going together. But a few weeks after our engagement, orders came in for him to go to the school. It would mean six months of school. He left near the end of June. One thing Fred made clear to me before we were married was that his duty first of all must to be to the Navy, his family must come after that.
The beginning of July, he was able to squeeze in a trip up to Va. to see me. We had planned to be married the next year. Now we began to rethink that. The next month was filled with planning just how and when and where we could have the wedding. He was from a Catholic home, and I was an unsaved Baptist. How would his folks feel about it? He talked with the Catholic chaplain’s assistant. He told Fred the chaplain wouldn’t even consider a marriage between a Catholic and a protestant. Fred wouldn’t even talk to him. That ruled out getting married in Tenn.. It was a very demanding school. No one was allowed to have leave while going to this school unless it was a real emergency. Could he possibly get a weekend free to come to Va? It was a two day trip from Richmond to Millington through very mountainous winding roads. Housing in the area was almost non-existent. How to get marriage license, blood tests done? Neither of us even had a car.
My Mother and Mayo, my step-father, gave us an old Plymouth they had. Fred had his friends helping him to find an apartment and finally rented a small apartment in an older couples home. Fred’s boss said he’d see that Fred would get the weekend off, even it was illegal!
On Friday, August 12th, 1949 he flew up to Richmond for the wedding. We were married in a simple ceremony in a pastor’s parlor near my Aunt Thelma’s house. Immediately after the ceremony, we were on the road to return to Memphis. While we were on our way out of town, Wendy and Beulah caught up with us and flagged us down so they could say goodbye. To us, nothing mattered but that we were together.
I remember that while we were going down the road, as I always did, I was sitting very close to Fred. I had my left hand, as always, on his knee. I looked up at him and thought, "For good?" ......little did we know that the Lord had launched us on a wonderful adventure which would bring us both into fellowship with Himself, and the glorious hope of life eternal with Him in Heaven. Over and over, the Lord used our love for one another to draw us closer to Himself, step by step, over a period of years....even as He is doing still!
That little apartment was pure bliss....although Fred had to endure my learning to cook! The first time Fred told me he wanted rice and beans, all I knew was plain old white rice and white navy beans! He said, "This just ain't goin' to cut it!" Later, Mom Zoeller taught me how to cook...Rice and beans, chicken mole, chili, etc.
Later that year, around Christmas, we returned to Yorktown, and obtained an apartment in Navy Housing. Fred Jr. was born in March 24th
When Fred, Jr. was two months old, I was hospitalized for two weeks with mastitis. Fred took leave and cared for the baby alone....made formula, and drove fifty miles each day to visit me in the hospital, putting Fred, Jr. in a nursery while he visited me. Each day I would ask Fred what he’d had for breakfast. The answer was always, "Ranger Joe’s" ( a cold cereal he liked)
As I mentioned before, when Fred asked me to marry him, he explained to me that the Navy must always come first. It wasn’t too long before we had to face the cold reality of this fact. In August 1950, when Fred, Jr. was 4 1/2 months old, orders came in for Fred to go to Korea. We had just learned that I was expecting again. This was during the Korean War. It was the beginning of eighteen months which would pass before we’d see one another again. Kyle was born in April of 1951.
Fred packed his little family up and left them in Millington, Tenn. where we’d spent the first months of our lives together. Then he left to catch a ship he’d been assigned to in Korean waters, stopping off in San Antonio to visit his parents.
This was no doubt the most difficult time of our lives, one that would greatly influence our future. This time was particularly difficult for Fred; first, because he had to spend several months on one ship after another trying to catch up with the one he’d been assigned to. At one time the ship he was on was pulling into the harbor when the one he was trying to catch was pulling out! He was trained for Advanced Underseas Weapons, which was top secret atomic warfare, and there weren’t too many ships he could be assigned to.
Secondly, because of this, although we were both writing to one another every day, the mail never reached him. It never caught up with his ship. Fred wrote daily, knowing that it would be a long time before he’d receive any mail from home. There were no phone calls, and there was no e-mail. I realized recently that there weren’t even any ball-point pens! It was two months before he received his first mail. Finally I began numbering and dating the envelopes because he’d receive whole stacks at once in no order.
Japan
Ultimately, they changed his orders, and sent him to Atsugi, Japan where an old Japanese Air Base was being re- commissioned by the U.S. He was one of only four men who first arrived there. He was made Master at Arms of the base. This was not too long after WW2, and when he arrived, it was winter. The weather there was much like in Va. There were no barracks, no heat, not much of anything. His shop hadn’t even been built. Finally they got a Quonset hut and set up shop, but judging from the letters he wrote, it was difficult. He was delighted, and sent me pictures when I sent him warm pajamas and long handled underwear!
I missed Fred, wrote to him once and twice a day, (remember, there were no phone calls nor E-mails) I rolled Fred, Jr. to the post office in his stroller to check the mail everyday. Mostly I cared for Fred, Jr. and prepared for the new little one I was expecting.
It was a long 18 months before Fred Jr., Kyle, and I would join Fred in Japan. What a happy day that would be!
We sailed on the USNS General D. I. Sultan, and Fred met the ship when it arrived in Yokosuka, Japan. After the long 18 month separation, all I could think when I saw him standing on the dock was, "He looks just like his picture!"
What a welcome it was! Orchid corsage, flowers every where, an apartment in a new housing project called Sagami Hara. All newly furnished! ........ But the first thing that happened when we arrived there, as soon as we got in the house, the kids both began to throw up!.......Fred wasn’t used to this, so he threw up also!
We had a wonderful Christmas all together that year.
Fred’s brother Ned, who was also in the Navy, came by to see us while we were there.
Two years later, Fred was transferred to Naval Air Station, Coronado, California. and was an instructor teaching pilots bombing runs.
Because of our 18 months separation, we had a great dread of ships. We knew the one ship he was most likely to be sent to was the USS Kearsage, an aircraft carrier..We often literally cursed it when we saw it out in the bay. If he were stationed aboard her, he’d be out a on cruise for 9 months each year. In port 3 months, but out in the stream all week. We figured that he’d have duty every 4th weekend. Which meant we’d have 27 days together out of 2 years. Only on weekends, never home for holidays.
Time for orders came. Fred went and talked with Command Air Pacific to learn which duty might be available. He came home and told me it was Naval Air Station Kodiak,Alaska. He asked me what I thought. "Anyplace is better than apart." I answered. He made me agree to his hunting for a Kodiak bear before he’d agree. I agreed as long as he got the best rifle available for the job. He got his elk, caribou, and moose, but orders came again before he got his bear.
After 2 years, Fred applied for an extension of duty in Kodiak. All were approved before and after, but Fred's wasn't. We learned later that they again allowed extensions after he was transferred.
The orders came for the Kearsage. I cried and prayed all night. I only knew the Lord's prayer. I got serious about it.
"Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Thy will be done... I'll even tithe. But I wasn't saved. "Just keep us together, and we’ll search for you and follow you." I prayed.
Fred tried everything....He decided to re-enlist, requesting duty in Kodiak. All before and after were approved. But not Fred's. He decided, "I'll get out of the Navy." He had over 17 years in the Navy, and could retire on twenty. We didn’t know it then, but the Lord was cutting his orders.
He took his discharge. He re-enlisted the next morning after learning that they would send him to the east coast so he could avoid the Kearsage. Bases on the east coast that were available for him were Bermuda, Guantanamo Bay Cuba, Jacksonville, Fla., and Quonset Pt., R.I. He applied for them in that order. He was sent to his last choice, Quonset Point R. I
We rented a house in a neighborhood where there were Christians all around us. The day we rented the house, I told Fred how I had prayed in Alaska.. He said, "You told God that? We'll certainly do it, then."
We began seriously going to a new little non-denominational church.
One day, I asked Lee Borge, a neighbor, what it meant to "Accept Christ" She explained that it is a gift. When you confess that you are a sinner, and want to be saved from that sin, trusting in Christ death alone to save you, He does, and He comes to live in your heart...giving you a new life through His Holy Spirit.
We wanted to know more. We asked the Pastor over, and wanted to know "why can't we live the way we are and be Christians?"
He opened his Bible to Romans 14 and explained it to us. But we weren’t ready.
Fred was sent to a training school in Key West, Florida. Again, it was a top secret school. He couldn’t bring his notes home to study, so, instead of going to the chief’s club and spending the time drinking, as he used to do, he spent his off duty time reading the Bible he took with him. He reached the place where he truly believed the Bible, and asked the Lord to save him. He wrote and told me what had happened.
Our letters crossed in the mail. I had accepted Christ the same week while I was helping to teach the children to memorize Bible verses in Bible School. These are the verses I was teaching them.
Isaiah 57:20- 21 "The wicked like the troubled sea when it cannot rest, there is no peace saith my God to the wicked.." For the first time I admitted that I truly was wicked
1 Peter 2:24 :"Who His own self bore our sin in His own body on the tree, that we might be dead to sins, should live unto righteousness, by whose stripes ye were healed."
Romans 10:9,10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thy heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."
2 Cor.5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature, old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
Romans 14:17 "For the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost."
1 Cor.6:20 "For ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body, and your spirit which are God's."
As I memorized them myself to teach them, they strongly touched my heart also, and I, too, accepted the Lord as my Saviour.
Not too very long after we became Christians, in 1957, I read a book by Roy Hession, called The Calvary Road. That book made quite an impression on me. It brought great conviction of sin.
I had always thought Fred was about as close to perfect as a man could be, but when I read The Calvary Road, for the first time, I looked at Fred and said to myself, "Well, what do you know, Fred is a sinner too! But that was only the beginning. Quite a while later, I was looking at Fred’s Bible one day, and I found a note he had written inside the cover which said, "I never knew a worse man than myself." I was shocked, and asked him about it. I said, Fred that just isn’t so." He looked at me very soberly, and said, "Toni, you don’t know what’s in my heart."
Today, September 15, 2004, seventeen months since he has gone home to be with the Lord, I was thinking about Fred and the sweet testimony he had for the Lord, and it occurred to me that all that sweetness, gentleness, unselfishness....all the love he showed forth....was the indwelling Christ living and moving and having His being in Fred. No wonder he was such a "sweet savior of Christ".
Oh that I might have that indwelling of Christ...the center and circumference of my life!
I think due to my early life, I had somewhat of an inferiority complex and tended to get depressed when things didn’t go well. After we became Christians it improved markedly, but Fred recognized it when it came and would tell me, "Toni, don’t go down, because if you do, I’ll go down right behind you." That was all I needed to get straightened out. Fred was not only my husband, he was my hero, a father figure, my lover, my companion and best friend.
A year or so after we were saved, as he was leaving the church one Sunday, our pastor asked Fred if he had ever considered going to Bible college. Fred said, "Jack, no Bible college in the country would have someone like me." At that point he didn’t realize all that the Lord had done in his life. Later, he told me he thought the Lord would have him go to Bible college and asked me what I thought about it. I said, "Go for it." It wasn’t easy for him, but he loved every minute of his studies.
Since the Lord has called Fred home, I’ve thought a lot about the way the Lord has led and blessed in our lives. We always worked very closely with one another.
When we returned from our four years directing the servicemen’s center in Viet Nam and he again became director of the Victory servicemen’s Center here in Columbia. There was an office near the entrance, with two rooms. The one in the inside was Fred’s, and mine was the outer room. We very shortly decided to move both desks facing one another in one room in order to work more closely together. To me, it was always Fred’s ministry, and I his helper. I always looked up to him and admired him for the way he handled difficult situations and people. Where ever we were, people knew and loved Fred. His was such a bright and shining testimony.
On one occasion in Jacksonville, he had been drinking the night before he was to receive the Distinguished Flying Cross for his actions in the South Pacific. When he awoke that morning, he realized he had overslept. He quickly dressed, but when he rounded the corner of the hanger to get it line, he realized it was too late, the awards were already underway, so he just went back to the barracks and went back to sleep. When the Chief master-at-arms later asked him what to tell the Executive officer as to why he wasn’t there, Fred just said, "Tell him I overslept." Nothing was ever said about it. For years, in many of the places he was stationed, officers and men knew and recognized him from the war years.
Years later, after he had become a Christian, when he was visiting a church in Jacksonville, Fla. a Navy man who knew and remembered him made the remark, "I didn’t think anybody like you could get saved."
Fred was from Texas, and wore his cowboy boots even with his uniform! I could hardly believe it that first date as I saw him spinning on those heels as he danced.... giving the old Texas yell, "Ahhhhh Haaaaa!" When he danced with me, he held me very close. When I said something about it, he said, "That’s the way my first girl friend showed me." He thought I was a kid, and he was right. I was only nineteen. Recently, for the first time, I figured it out that I was only 12 years old when Fred was experiencing Pearl Harbor. I thought to myself that first date, "Just let me get home, and I never want to see this guy again!"
However, when we got ready to go home, it appeared to me that everyone at the club liked Fred. They all were calling out to him as we left. I wondered if there might be something wrong with me if I didn’t like him.
The next weekend they came to Richmond, it was Mary he went out with. I learned about it, and where they were all were planning on going. I determined to get a date and be there also. I completely ignored my date, and brazenly followed Fred and his date the whole evening. It apparently made an impression on him, because from that night on we were a couple.
After some time of double dating with Wendy and Beulah, Fred and I began spending more and more time alone at a little beer joint called "Bennie’s" near my aunt’s home. Wendy would drop Fred off and pick him up late that evening and they’d go to their hotel.
I wanted to know all about Fred and was full of questions about everything he had ever done. We’d sit for hours talking and "nursing" a beer or two along.. In letters he wrote several years later when he was in Korea and Japan he wondered at the way I had wanted to know all about his past and was amazed the way he had opened up with me. I believe that the result was that Fred tapered off his heavy drinking, and we drew very close. Toni, the immature kid, and Fred, the very experienced man.
Months went by, sometimes going with Wendy and Beulah to parks in the day, pulling crazy jokes on one another, and spending the evening either with Wendy and Beulah at some club, or alone together at "Bennie’s" I learned over time not to take lightly anything Fred said. Once when I did we had a very difficult time, which letters and a. little time healed for both our good.
One day, he called me at work. He told me that he wouldn’t see me the next weekend because he was going to D.C. with some of the fellows. Now we both knew that "Going to D.C." was like saying, we’re going looking for women. I told him that if that’s what he was going to do, not to call me anymore. "Do you really mean that?" He asked me. I answered that I did. He simply said, "OK." and hung up. I went back to work, but was pondering just what that exchange would mean. It was only a few minutes before I went down stairs to a public phone and called him back. I told him I really didn’t mean it, and to call me when he got back. He was pleased.....and he never did go to D.C.
Among the letters he wrote during his 18 months tour of duty during the Korean war, was one in which I asked him what would have happened I hadn’t called him back. He said he wouldn’t have called me again. And then he added, "but if I had known then what I know now, I would call again."
Fred had a diamond ring which he had bought in the South Pacific when he had won quite a bit of money in a blackjack game while he was on leave. He had given me the ring to wear with tape on it to make it fit. Later, he suggested that I have it set in a woman’s setting....but he instructed me not to put it on! I carried the ring in my purse for weeks. Valentines Day came. I thought surely he’d propose. Instead he brought me a lovely gold cross encircled with a gold wreath.
We had gone with Wendy and Beulah to a dance at Yorktown that Valentine’s day. They had a dance they called the "Paul Jone’s." Men would form a large circle, and the women would form a circle within the men’s circle. When the music changed, you would dance with whoever happened to be opposite you. I had always been careful not to drink too much, but that evening I was so disappointed that he hadn’t proposed that I just threw caution to the winds and "hung one on". All I remember is that in the middle of the Paul Jones," Fred grabbed me by the hand and said, "We’re getting out of here!" Apparently I had somehow managed to dance with many other fellows, but never seemed to get near Fred!
Sometime during 1948-49, he took thirty days leave to go to San Antonio, Texas to see his family and make a trip to Mexico with his Mom to see his relatives there. Up until this time, the word "love" had never been mentioned. I wasn’t letting on how much I cared for him, and he had carefully avoided it in his letters. I figured the thirty days were so long that I’d probably never see him again.
Then a letter came from Texas with the magic word...He signed it, Love, Fred! I didn’t take the word lightly. As I said, I had learned earlier that when Fred said something, he meant it.... he was one of those old fashioned men who believed that "A man is as good as his word." When he returned from Texas, he brought me a beautiful sterling silver turquoise belt which I still treasure. Neither of us realized it, but the belt was like an engagement token.
In May or June,1949, out of the clear blue, he called me and said, "Little Darlin,’ I don’t know what’s the matter with me; I can’t sleep, I wake up reaching for you....I guess I must be in love, will you marry me? All I could say was, "Do you really mean it?" He assured me that he did, and told me to put the ring on.
When Fred was first transferred to the Naval Mine Depot in Yorktown, Va, he wasn’t too pleased with the duty there; so he promptly applied for a school at the Naval Air Station in Millington, Tenn.., not far from Memphis. Then he forgot all about it when we began going together. But a few weeks after our engagement, orders came in for him to go to the school. It would mean six months of school. He left near the end of June. One thing Fred made clear to me before we were married was that his duty first of all must to be to the Navy, his family must come after that.
The beginning of July, he was able to squeeze in a trip up to Va. to see me. We had planned to be married the next year. Now we began to rethink that. The next month was filled with planning just how and when and where we could have the wedding. He was from a Catholic home, and I was an unsaved Baptist. How would his folks feel about it? He talked with the Catholic chaplain’s assistant. He told Fred the chaplain wouldn’t even consider a marriage between a Catholic and a protestant. Fred wouldn’t even talk to him. That ruled out getting married in Tenn.. It was a very demanding school. No one was allowed to have leave while going to this school unless it was a real emergency. Could he possibly get a weekend free to come to Va? It was a two day trip from Richmond to Millington through very mountainous winding roads. Housing in the area was almost non-existent. How to get marriage license, blood tests done? Neither of us even had a car.
My Mother and Mayo, my step-father, gave us an old Plymouth they had. Fred had his friends helping him to find an apartment and finally rented a small apartment in an older couples home. Fred’s boss said he’d see that Fred would get the weekend off, even it was illegal!
On Friday, August 12th, 1949 he flew up to Richmond for the wedding. We were married in a simple ceremony in a pastor’s parlor near my Aunt Thelma’s house. Immediately after the ceremony, we were on the road to return to Memphis. While we were on our way out of town, Wendy and Beulah caught up with us and flagged us down so they could say goodbye. To us, nothing mattered but that we were together.
I remember that while we were going down the road, as I always did, I was sitting very close to Fred. I had my left hand, as always, on his knee. I looked up at him and thought, "For good?" ......little did we know that the Lord had launched us on a wonderful adventure which would bring us both into fellowship with Himself, and the glorious hope of life eternal with Him in Heaven. Over and over, the Lord used our love for one another to draw us closer to Himself, step by step, over a period of years....even as He is doing still!
That little apartment was pure bliss....although Fred had to endure my learning to cook! The first time Fred told me he wanted rice and beans, all I knew was plain old white rice and white navy beans! He said, "This just ain't goin' to cut it!" Later, Mom Zoeller taught me how to cook...Rice and beans, chicken mole, chili, etc.
Later that year, around Christmas, we returned to Yorktown, and obtained an apartment in Navy Housing. Fred Jr. was born in March 24th
When Fred, Jr. was two months old, I was hospitalized for two weeks with mastitis. Fred took leave and cared for the baby alone....made formula, and drove fifty miles each day to visit me in the hospital, putting Fred, Jr. in a nursery while he visited me. Each day I would ask Fred what he’d had for breakfast. The answer was always, "Ranger Joe’s" ( a cold cereal he liked)
As I mentioned before, when Fred asked me to marry him, he explained to me that the Navy must always come first. It wasn’t too long before we had to face the cold reality of this fact. In August 1950, when Fred, Jr. was 4 1/2 months old, orders came in for Fred to go to Korea. We had just learned that I was expecting again. This was during the Korean War. It was the beginning of eighteen months which would pass before we’d see one another again. Kyle was born in April of 1951.
Fred packed his little family up and left them in Millington, Tenn. where we’d spent the first months of our lives together. Then he left to catch a ship he’d been assigned to in Korean waters, stopping off in San Antonio to visit his parents.
This was no doubt the most difficult time of our lives, one that would greatly influence our future. This time was particularly difficult for Fred; first, because he had to spend several months on one ship after another trying to catch up with the one he’d been assigned to. At one time the ship he was on was pulling into the harbor when the one he was trying to catch was pulling out! He was trained for Advanced Underseas Weapons, which was top secret atomic warfare, and there weren’t too many ships he could be assigned to.
Secondly, because of this, although we were both writing to one another every day, the mail never reached him. It never caught up with his ship. Fred wrote daily, knowing that it would be a long time before he’d receive any mail from home. There were no phone calls, and there was no e-mail. I realized recently that there weren’t even any ball-point pens! It was two months before he received his first mail. Finally I began numbering and dating the envelopes because he’d receive whole stacks at once in no order.
Japan
Ultimately, they changed his orders, and sent him to Atsugi, Japan where an old Japanese Air Base was being re- commissioned by the U.S. He was one of only four men who first arrived there. He was made Master at Arms of the base. This was not too long after WW2, and when he arrived, it was winter. The weather there was much like in Va. There were no barracks, no heat, not much of anything. His shop hadn’t even been built. Finally they got a Quonset hut and set up shop, but judging from the letters he wrote, it was difficult. He was delighted, and sent me pictures when I sent him warm pajamas and long handled underwear!
I missed Fred, wrote to him once and twice a day, (remember, there were no phone calls nor E-mails) I rolled Fred, Jr. to the post office in his stroller to check the mail everyday. Mostly I cared for Fred, Jr. and prepared for the new little one I was expecting.
It was a long 18 months before Fred Jr., Kyle, and I would join Fred in Japan. What a happy day that would be!
We sailed on the USNS General D. I. Sultan, and Fred met the ship when it arrived in Yokosuka, Japan. After the long 18 month separation, all I could think when I saw him standing on the dock was, "He looks just like his picture!"
What a welcome it was! Orchid corsage, flowers every where, an apartment in a new housing project called Sagami Hara. All newly furnished! ........ But the first thing that happened when we arrived there, as soon as we got in the house, the kids both began to throw up!.......Fred wasn’t used to this, so he threw up also!
We had a wonderful Christmas all together that year.
Fred’s brother Ned, who was also in the Navy, came by to see us while we were there.
Two years later, Fred was transferred to Naval Air Station, Coronado, California. and was an instructor teaching pilots bombing runs.
Because of our 18 months separation, we had a great dread of ships. We knew the one ship he was most likely to be sent to was the USS Kearsage, an aircraft carrier..We often literally cursed it when we saw it out in the bay. If he were stationed aboard her, he’d be out a on cruise for 9 months each year. In port 3 months, but out in the stream all week. We figured that he’d have duty every 4th weekend. Which meant we’d have 27 days together out of 2 years. Only on weekends, never home for holidays.
Time for orders came. Fred went and talked with Command Air Pacific to learn which duty might be available. He came home and told me it was Naval Air Station Kodiak,Alaska. He asked me what I thought. "Anyplace is better than apart." I answered. He made me agree to his hunting for a Kodiak bear before he’d agree. I agreed as long as he got the best rifle available for the job. He got his elk, caribou, and moose, but orders came again before he got his bear.
After 2 years, Fred applied for an extension of duty in Kodiak. All were approved before and after, but Fred's wasn't. We learned later that they again allowed extensions after he was transferred.
The orders came for the Kearsage. I cried and prayed all night. I only knew the Lord's prayer. I got serious about it.
"Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Thy will be done... I'll even tithe. But I wasn't saved. "Just keep us together, and we’ll search for you and follow you." I prayed.
Fred tried everything....He decided to re-enlist, requesting duty in Kodiak. All before and after were approved. But not Fred's. He decided, "I'll get out of the Navy." He had over 17 years in the Navy, and could retire on twenty. We didn’t know it then, but the Lord was cutting his orders.
He took his discharge. He re-enlisted the next morning after learning that they would send him to the east coast so he could avoid the Kearsage. Bases on the east coast that were available for him were Bermuda, Guantanamo Bay Cuba, Jacksonville, Fla., and Quonset Pt., R.I. He applied for them in that order. He was sent to his last choice, Quonset Point R. I
We rented a house in a neighborhood where there were Christians all around us. The day we rented the house, I told Fred how I had prayed in Alaska.. He said, "You told God that? We'll certainly do it, then."
We began seriously going to a new little non-denominational church.
One day, I asked Lee Borge, a neighbor, what it meant to "Accept Christ" She explained that it is a gift. When you confess that you are a sinner, and want to be saved from that sin, trusting in Christ death alone to save you, He does, and He comes to live in your heart...giving you a new life through His Holy Spirit.
We wanted to know more. We asked the Pastor over, and wanted to know "why can't we live the way we are and be Christians?"
He opened his Bible to Romans 14 and explained it to us. But we weren’t ready.
Fred was sent to a training school in Key West, Florida. Again, it was a top secret school. He couldn’t bring his notes home to study, so, instead of going to the chief’s club and spending the time drinking, as he used to do, he spent his off duty time reading the Bible he took with him. He reached the place where he truly believed the Bible, and asked the Lord to save him. He wrote and told me what had happened.
Our letters crossed in the mail. I had accepted Christ the same week while I was helping to teach the children to memorize Bible verses in Bible School. These are the verses I was teaching them.
Isaiah 57:20- 21 "The wicked like the troubled sea when it cannot rest, there is no peace saith my God to the wicked.." For the first time I admitted that I truly was wicked
1 Peter 2:24 :"Who His own self bore our sin in His own body on the tree, that we might be dead to sins, should live unto righteousness, by whose stripes ye were healed."
Romans 10:9,10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thy heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."
2 Cor.5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature, old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
Romans 14:17 "For the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost."
1 Cor.6:20 "For ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body, and your spirit which are God's."
As I memorized them myself to teach them, they strongly touched my heart also, and I, too, accepted the Lord as my Saviour.
Not too very long after we became Christians, in 1957, I read a book by Roy Hession, called The Calvary Road. That book made quite an impression on me. It brought great conviction of sin.
I had always thought Fred was about as close to perfect as a man could be, but when I read The Calvary Road, for the first time, I looked at Fred and said to myself, "Well, what do you know, Fred is a sinner too! But that was only the beginning. Quite a while later, I was looking at Fred’s Bible one day, and I found a note he had written inside the cover which said, "I never knew a worse man than myself." I was shocked, and asked him about it. I said, Fred that just isn’t so." He looked at me very soberly, and said, "Toni, you don’t know what’s in my heart."
Today, September 15, 2004, seventeen months since he has gone home to be with the Lord, I was thinking about Fred and the sweet testimony he had for the Lord, and it occurred to me that all that sweetness, gentleness, unselfishness....all the love he showed forth....was the indwelling Christ living and moving and having His being in Fred. No wonder he was such a "sweet savior of Christ".
Oh that I might have that indwelling of Christ...the center and circumference of my life!
I think due to my early life, I had somewhat of an inferiority complex and tended to get depressed when things didn’t go well. After we became Christians it improved markedly, but Fred recognized it when it came and would tell me, "Toni, don’t go down, because if you do, I’ll go down right behind you." That was all I needed to get straightened out. Fred was not only my husband, he was my hero, a father figure, my lover, my companion and best friend.
A year or so after we were saved, as he was leaving the church one Sunday, our pastor asked Fred if he had ever considered going to Bible college. Fred said, "Jack, no Bible college in the country would have someone like me." At that point he didn’t realize all that the Lord had done in his life. Later, he told me he thought the Lord would have him go to Bible college and asked me what I thought about it. I said, "Go for it." It wasn’t easy for him, but he loved every minute of his studies.
Since the Lord has called Fred home, I’ve thought a lot about the way the Lord has led and blessed in our lives. We always worked very closely with one another.
When we returned from our four years directing the servicemen’s center in Viet Nam and he again became director of the Victory servicemen’s Center here in Columbia. There was an office near the entrance, with two rooms. The one in the inside was Fred’s, and mine was the outer room. We very shortly decided to move both desks facing one another in one room in order to work more closely together. To me, it was always Fred’s ministry, and I his helper. I always looked up to him and admired him for the way he handled difficult situations and people. Where ever we were, people knew and loved Fred. His was such a bright and shining testimony.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Family of Helwig Zoeller and Anna Wessely
Helwig Zoeller and Anna Wessely familyAlbert, Joe, Helwig, Alma, Fred, Anna Wessely, Edna, Rudolph, Otto and family farm dog
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